


still you carry me home

by webelongtogetheralways



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Declarations Of Love, F/F, Vanessa’s return to Emmerdale, potentially M at some point, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23974519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webelongtogetheralways/pseuds/webelongtogetheralways
Summary: a multi-chapter AU where Vanessa and Johnny move away from the village with limited explanation and cut all contact, leaving Charity and the family they’d built together confused and in disarray. Will she ever be willing to come back and make things right again?
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 12
Kudos: 89





	1. you showed the sun to me

It’s been 11 months and 17 days since the hottest blonde that ever walked into her life walked right out of it; not that she’s still counting. 

She remembers every detail about the day Vanessa left as if it were yesterday, might as well have been. Charity had reluctantly agreed to do the late shift at The Woolpack due to Eve coming down with something, leaving Chas with nobody else willing to cover the bar.

With Noah and Sarah out at Wishing Well and Moses in Liverpool with Ross for the weekend, Charity had spent most of the day downstairs playing with Johnny and his remote control car that he’d convinced her to buy him on their latest shopping expedition to Hotten; had her wrapped around his little finger that one. 

Vanessa had been quiet, noticeably quiet. It had become apparent something was off when Charity fed Johnny more than his fair share of chocolate without receiving anything that resembled the usual disapproving glare from her fiancée. Charity hadn’t thought much of it at the time, simply accepting the excuse Vanessa was just tired from her fitful sleep the night before. In hindsight, she wishes she’d pried more, maybe things would be different now if she had.

It had been around ten past seven when Charity’s phone started getting bombarded with frantic text messages from her cousin demanding that she got her backside down to the pub to work her shift before her share was sold to a random punter. 

After assuring Chas she was on her way, muttering a few expletives under her breath as she did so, she had grabbed her coat off the hook and started to say her goodbyes, promising Johnny she’d check in on him once she’d returned from her shift to make sure there weren’t any monsters lurking about in his room. Vanessa had rolled her eyes playfully at that from where she’d stood witnessing the two converse; seemingly making a mental note to never let Johnny watch Monsters Inc again.

“Love you Johnnybobs.” Charity had said, bending down and wrapping him in a hug, giving him a sloppy kiss and tickling him until he squirmed out of her grip in a fit of giggles before running off to plant himself in front of whatever cartoon had been on the television. 

“You sure you’re alright, babe?” Charity had asked, directing the question at her fiancée as she’d struggled to get back up from the crouching position she was in, knees clicking in the process as a cruel reminder that she wasn’t getting any younger. 

Instead of replying, Vanessa had pulled her in for a deep kiss, almost trying to convey something that her voice wouldn’t allow. As they pulled away, Charity couldn’t help but notice a faraway look in her fiancée’s eyes which at the time, she couldn’t quite locate the source of. 

If it wasn’t for Chas sending her a ‘final warning’ message hurrying her out the door and into the blustery wind, Charity thinks that she may have been able to push Vanessa just enough to get her to tell her everything; to stop her from leaving and taking Johnnybobs away from her too. 

Her shift had gone smoothly, almost too smoothly for how a Saturday night in the Woolpack usually went. In between serving the punters in demand of refills, Charity had mindlessly been completing crosswords from the book she kept hidden under the till to pass the time. To this day, it still baffles her how she had been so blissfully unaware that her entire life was falling apart in that very moment whilst her biggest concern had been figuring out the correct answer to fill in six across. 

Once her shift was over, she’d halfheartedly wiped down the tables and tidied a few glasses before deciding that she’d leave the rest of the tasks for Chas to finish off in the morning as payback for the insults that had been thrown her way with no hesitation during their earlier dispute that evening.

Walking the short journey home, the village had been serene; the only sounds being of nature and the faint whirring of a car engine drowning out in the distance, the noise completely dissipating by the time she’d inserted her key into the front door. 

Upon walking into the living room of what had been their house, the serenity that had consumed her mind and body just moments ago had completely evaporated; the sight of the forlorn faces in front of her was enough to send her hurtling into a state of panic, composure impossible to be found alongside any trace of Vanessa and Johnny living in Jacobs Fold. 

“Trace, what is it? What’s wrong? Where’s Ness?” She’d asked, the questions coming out in a rush in between hyperventilations. 

Eyes wide, no response.

“Earth to Tracy!” Charity had bellowed, any consideration she’d had about noise volume at the late hour which it was had gone completely out the window. 

Still no response.

Her brain struggled to function. Johnny’s toys which were usually thrown messily in his box were nowhere to be seen, photographs of Vanessa, Frank and Tracy; vanished. Last but not least, a photo was missing from the collage on the wall which the kids had helped them make before they’d moved into Jacobs Fold. Vanessa had physical copies of all of them except one, the photograph that no longer had a place on the collage, the one of the two of them together on Christmas day at Jessie and Marlon’s wedding. 

Turning back to face the couch, she’d grown impatient waiting on Tracy and desperately looked towards the teenager perched nervously next to the woman who was going to be her sister-in-law.

“Sarah, can you please tell me what’s goi-“ 

“It’s Vanessa,” Tracy finally choked out.  
“She’s gone.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Rhona had been the one to stay with her until she’d settled that night, Tracy leaving to be with Nate once she’d told Charity what Vanessa had said to them. The two teenagers barely uttering a word as they went up to their rooms - clearly still in a state of shock.

“Why didn’t anyone call me?” Charity had cried as she’d paced the room, coat still on and phone in hand after leaving her fifth distressed voicemail.

“She asked us not to, said it would have been too hard for her to tell you.” Rhona had replied before getting the onslaught of Charity’s anger, accepting everything thrown her way until Charity had burnt herself out and crashed on the couch; a blanket being placed over her before Rhona saw herself out. 

Vanessa hadn’t been right for a while. Although she had physically been healthy after beating bowel cancer just like they all said she would, the same couldn’t be said for her mental health. 

After being given the all-clear, Vanessa was more subdued than Charity - if not anyone - had ever seen her. Without having the uncertainty of her own mortality looming over her, the trauma she didn’t know she’d been repressing had started to float to the surface; rather rapidly at that. 

The nightmares kicked in after a few weeks, always in connection with what Pierce had put her through. Charity had hated seeing Vanessa in such anguish, especially since she knew how terrifyingly real it felt from her own traumatic past. However, through the nightmares, the situation had forced Vanessa to talk her through what had happened in gradual stages rather than keeping it buried like she had done since it had happened so in that respect, she was grateful for them.

Charity knew it was going to be a struggle for all of them to find some semblance of the Vanessa they once knew, but Charity had believed that in time and maybe with a bit of therapy, she would reappear. 

In the weeks before she’d left, things had started to get progressively worse. Vanessa began to snap, not just at her this time. On just one occasion, Sarah had set the toaster too high, practically cremating the bread she’d placed inside it. Charity had walked into a screaming match between the two of them unlike one she’d ever seen before. After opening all the windows she could to get the burning smell out the house, she’d managed to calm Vanessa down whilst Noah went in search of Sarah who’d stormed out the house, not before she’d hurtled abuse at Charity for her fiancée ‘going psycho’ on her over a few slices of toast. Though Charity knew there was more to it than met the eye.

Vanessa had gone back to work in spite of every man and his dog advising her against it. One afternoon, Charity had been working a shift when Chas had not so politely informed her that Vanessa had caused a scene at work, leaving Paddy to deal with multiple complaints from unhappy pet owners which the surgery really couldn’t afford. 

Charity had thought that they were doing a good job at communicating with each other, something they battled with frequently; especially during Vanessa’s cancer journey. However, Charity had known deep down that it was only a matter of time before Vanessa reached full breaking point - never fully grasping when or how destructive it would be.

Turns out the final straw had been when Vanessa had received a letter from Kirin saying he was coming back to the village due to his impending release from prison on counts of ‘good behaviour’. The thought of him trying to infiltrate into her and Johnny’s life again had been too much to handle, not that she’d thought to tell Charity that - only ever divulging this information to Rhona over a quick two-minute phone call from a phone box a month or so after she left; the last of the contact anyone in the village had received. 

Months passed, Kirin never showed. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The first two months after they’d left were the hardest. Charity refused to sleep in her bed, not when everything in that room - their room - reminded her of Vanessa. 

Charity rarely slept, rarely did anything for that matter. Whenever she did sleep, it was usually as a result of whatever cheap booze she had to hand, waking up with a worse hangover each time only to do the same night after night. 

Debbie had returned to the village within two weeks of this with Jack in tow, realising that she was needed the minute Sarah had rung her up in the middle of the night to inform her Charity had drank herself stupid again and managed to bang her head off the kitchen counter, bad enough to warrant stitches and a hefty concussion.

The first time Debbie saw her mother upon her return, she’d almost recoiled in horror - not just as a result of the huge gash down the side of her face although it was rather ghastly. Debbie had never seen her so broken, and that said a lot given the cards she’d been dealt in life. 

The woman who seemed to have healed most of the wounds that people had inflicted on her mother, including herself, had only gone and left in the cruellest way and opened them up again, potentially in a worse way than before if that were possible. If she were to be honest, Debbie hadn’t been too sure if she was remotely fixable. 

Three months passed. Moses was still missing Johnny as much as the first day he’d been told they’d gone away for a while, constantly asking people when his brother was coming back, a brutal reminder to Charity that he probably never was. Another thing that tore Charity apart was how useless she felt when each night without fail, he cried for ‘Mummy Vanessa’ to read him to sleep, outright telling her that she didn’t do the voices as good as Vanessa could. 

Noah had blamed her for Vanessa and Johnny leaving - of course he did. He never failed to drop in a dig whenever he found the opportunity to, malicious reminders as to how she could have done more if only she’d cared enough. 

She’d gone back to work eventually, Chas had been great with her considering she’d been off so long. The panic attacks started up again when she was on one of her first shift’s back, excusing herself for a moment before heading down to the cellar to try and catch her breath; that was her first mistake. All the memories of their first kiss, first time they’d had sex in the cellar - and the rest - all came flooding back until it was all too much for her to bear and she’d fell to the floor, undoing the top buttons of her blouse and gasping for the air to fill her lungs. Chas had found her a short while later, she’d sobbed on her shoulder until her voice was hoarse, this being the the first time she’d allowed herself to feel the effects of Vanessa’s absence without a bottle in her hand. 

Six months down the line, Tracy had started coming over again. In the early stages of their relationship, the only attachment Charity had felt towards Tracy was that she was Vanessa’s sister. Over time, she’d become much more than that; she’d become her family. 

“Nate proposed last night.” Tracy blurted out after dinner one evening as she assisted Charity in washing the dishes. 

“Oh right,” Charity replied, her voice more shrill than intended. “What answer did you give him?” She continued, trying to remain unaffected, not chancing a glance at her own redundant engagement ring on the side which was carefully placed there to avoid it getting wet.

“I said yes.” Tracy responded nervously after a moments pause.

“I’m happy for you, Trace.” Charity had returned with a smile which never quite met her eyes before turning her attention back to the rest of the dishes. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Charity hadn’t been with anyone else since Vanessa had left, adamant that she wasn’t going to use people to fill a void like she used to - she was better than that now. However, it’d been 11 months and 17 days now and Debbie had decided to set her up and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Charity knew nothing would come out of it, only going ahead with it to humour her persistent daughter who’d been down her ear about it for at least a week.

“Alright, alright!” Charity had snapped one evening last week, “I’ll go.” 

“About time, you need to move on for your own good, Mum.” Debbie had said, already sending over the man’s details via Whatsapp as soon as Charity had relented. 

His name was Steve, a minted 48 year old bald bloke who owned a successful construction company nearby. He’d turned on the charm, seemed to be everything Charity used to want in a man, yet she felt absolutely nothing because he wasn’t Vanessa.

They’d ended up in a fancy restaurant in the middle of Hotton, Steve eager to give her the full wine and dine experience. She managed to laugh along at his jokes at the right times, keeping up her side of the conversation whenever it seemed appropriate and was appreciative when he paid for their meal; promising to text him although she knew internally that she never would. 

Feeling sorry for herself, she decided to skip calling a taxi straight away and go down to one of the local bars - leaving Debbie under the impression that the pair were taking their date further. 

A few shots and half a Mojito later, she realised that it hadn’t been such a good idea to go drinking alone on a Friday night - the people around her clearly not understanding her need for personal space. 

Downing the rest of her drink in one, she jumped off the shabby barstool intending to head straight for the exit. As she went to turn, a drunk passerby knocked her coat out of her hand, her eyes immediately making contact with the person’s heels as they accidentally trampled on it in the process.

“Watch it!” Charity shouted, loud enough to be heard over the thrumming of the music being played throughout the venue before bending down and attempting to tug the garment out from under the footwear, expecting the woman to allow her to do so - yet she didn’t. 

About to give the woman what for, Charity sprung up from her position on the floor, finally meeting the eyes of the woman refusing to move. 

“For Christ’s sa-“ Charity began, voice initially full of contempt before trailing off once her brain registered who the piercing eyes staring back at her in shock belonged to.

“Vanessa...”


	2. bringing back all my feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for how short this chapter is in comparison to the first! Hope you all enjoy this update, comments/suggestions are much appreciated <3

“You have got to be kidding me.” Charity scoffs, half out of shock, half out of sheer indignation. 

“Charity, I can explain-“

“Save it,” Charity interrupts sternly. “Just step off my coat and get out my way, yeah?” 

This time Vanessa listens and moves aside, giving her ex-fiancée ample space between them for her to reach down and pick up the coat which she doesn’t recall Charity owning when they were together. 

Charity doesn’t hesitate to barge past her the minute she resumes her standing position; Vanessa’s shoulder being the unfortunate body part which receives the brunt of the shove.

Although it’s painfully obvious that Charity doesn’t want to speak to her, Vanessa doesn’t back down and swiftly follows her exact route out of the club, narrowly avoiding stepping in a puddle of what she hopes is a spilt drink. 

Albeit Charity only being a matter of seconds ahead of her, at first glance, she’s nowhere to be seen in the swarm of people surrounding the club. 

However, as she surveys the crowd more precisely, she notices a familiar blonde attempting to camouflage herself in the designated smoking area amongst what appears to be a group of students. 

Vanessa’s legs seem to have a mind of their own, heading for Charity’s direction before she’s had adequate time to conjure up a single idea of what she wants to say to her. 

Charity hasn't caught sight of her just yet though, eyes too focused on reading the number-plates of the taxi’s which keep pulling up and then trying to correctly identify one of them as the vehicle assigned for her but to no avail.

Vanessa’s about to make her presence known when she falters, observing the woman in front of her taking a long drag of the cigarette balancing in between the middle and index fingers of her right hand, something she’d failed to notice was there until this very moment. 

Despite being a stickler against smoking since the start of her uni days, Vanessa can't help but be slightly mesmerised if not turned on at the sight even though she realises she has no right to be, not anymore. 

”Thought you gave that up once and for all after I caught you at the back of the pub that time?” Vanessa quizzes as she walks slowly towards her, thankful for how her smoking has provided an entryway into the conversation.

”Well you know what they say, Ness, old habits die hard.” Charity replies nonchalantly, inwardly cringing at the nickname which rolls right off her tongue without her permission. 

“It’ll kill you, y’know.” Vanessa reproves gently, watching how she flicks away the ash with such ease.

“Yeah, well I wouldn’t have had to resort to it if it wasn’t for-“ 

Charity manages to cut herself short just before the words have the opportunity to tumble out of her mouth, eyes diverting their attention to absolutely anything else but the crumpled look morphing its way onto the face in front of her.

“If it wasn’t for what, Charity?” Vanessa asks shakily, almost certain that she already knows the answer.

Unable to handle all of the emotions coursing through her at once, Charity immediately feels the all-familiar walls begin to rise again and snaps.

”God, you’re like a flamin’ dog with a bone, just drop it alright?” Charity yells, tossing the cigarette butt somewhere into the distance out of utter frustration.  
“What are you even doing here, anyway?” she continues, inadvertently using her hands as a way of expressing her outrage.

“It’s my work’s night out, only started a few weeks ago so thought it best to tag along to make a good impression.” Vanessa explains, awkwardly fiddling with the hem of her jacket as she speaks. “What about you?” she proceeds after a few moments when she’s met with no response. 

This leaves Charity in two minds about whether to tell Vanessa the truth or make up a convincing lie as to her whereabouts this evening which will hurt less to hear. Nonetheless, she’s still seething at the audacity of the other woman living in the next town over all this time and the overwhelming urge to make her suffer comes out on top. 

“I was on a date, some fancy restaurant up on Hotten high street, haven’t made my mind up about whether it’ll amount to anything yet though so I thought I’d seize the rare opportunity and come here to let off a bit of steam giving that Debs is looking after Moses tonight.” 

Vanessa simply nods in acknowledgement before turning her head to the side as she blinks back the tears that have formed at the verbal confirmation that Charity has moved on. Vanessa doesn’t know what answer she was expecting, she’s more than aware of how selfish it is for her to have been wishing that Charity hadn’t been with anyone else since her, but that doesn’t stop the bile rising in her throat at the mere thought of it. 

The sound of the other woman speaking penetrates through to her and effectively breaks her out of her train of thought. “Taxi’s arrived, I’ve got to go.” 

“Charity, wait!” Vanessa hollers, managing to catch the material of the other woman’s coat sleeve between her thumb and forefinger before she reaches the car door. 

“What is it now, Vanessa?” she cries out as she turns to face her, shoving her off her arm in the process. 

“Meet me.” 

“Excuse you?” Charity questions, befuddlement written all over her features. 

“You still have Sunday mornings off, don’t you?” 

“Yes, but-“ 

“Meet me at Hotten Café on Sunday morning and I’ll explain everything.” 

Charity hesitates, considering her answer before she willingly gives it.

“Please, Charity.” Vanessa is practically begging at this point, desperate for her to agree. 

“Alright, alright!” Charity exclaims as she decides it’s time to give in. “Text me with what time you want to meet, s’pose I might as well hear what you’ve got to say for yourself.” 

“Same number?” Vanessa inquiries gleefully, too busy basking in the fact Charity just said yes to be concerned about how excited she sounds. 

“Same number.” Charity confirms, glancing at her one last time before bending down into the taxi and shutting the door with some force.

Vanessa watches the vehicle drive off, finally  
releasing a deep breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding, her hand on the nearest brick wall seemingly being the only thing keeping her upright and steady on her feet.

After a few minutes of breathing the crisp night air into her lungs, she calls her own taxi before texting a feeble excuse to her work groupchat as to why she’s having to cut her night short. Moments later, she receives a stream of drunken messages about how they understand and they hope Johnny feels better soon which causes Vanessa to breathe out a sigh of relief that her fabrication sounded as convincing to them as it did in her head.

For a Friday night, her taxi arrives relatively quickly. After climbing in and telling the driver where she’s headed, she scrolls down her contacts until she lands on ‘Childminder’, quickly informing the woman she’d hired to look after Johnny that she’s on her way home a lot earlier than she had initially planned.

As she clicks off the chat, it takes her back to her original position on the contact list and her eyes shift to the name listed only a few above, ‘Charity Dingle’ - standing out amid the rest. She covers the contact name with the pad of her thumb and smiles to herself before tapping the message symbol, something she’s been wanting to do for a really long time but never knowing what to say or if she’d get anything in return other than a blocking.

“Is 11:30am any good for you on Sunday?” Vanessa types, opting against adding a kiss at the end.

Vanessa turns her screen off as soon as she presses send, anxiety flooding through her and overwhelming her senses as she suddenly realises that Charity might have changed her mind about meeting up. Just as her mind is about to runaway with itself, the taxi arrives at her destination and forces her out of her head and into the present. 

Pulling out the first note she finds in her purse, she hands it to the driver and tells him to keep the change, not particularly caring about how much of it there is. Upon reaching the front door and inserting her key, her phone buzzes in her pocket, alerting her that she’s received a text. Reaching for the device, she braces herself before looking down at what she knows is the awaited reply. To her surprise, what she reads puts a smile on her face. 

“See you then.” 

It’s short and sweet but the only thing she’s capable of honing in on is that it’s definitive; Charity will be there.


	3. midnight decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a chas/charity and bob/charity friendship in this chapter!! we love to see it

When Charity finds herself rousing from sleep the next morning, it feels like her head only hit the pillow moments ago; brain still extremely foggy and determined to cling onto any remnants of the dream she’d previously been enjoying. 

“Mum, wake up,” Debbie demands coldly, pulling the covers back and allowing the cold air to nip at her skin; a surge of goosebumps beginning to trail down her arms. 

When that attempt fails to get the sleeping woman’s full attention, Debbie impatiently strides over to the bedroom window, sighing as she opens the curtains as wide as they’ll go so that the sunlight instantly leaks into the dim room and strikes Charity directly in the eyes. 

“Jesus, Debs,” Charity shrieks, “Do you mind?” 

“I think you’ll find I don’t actually, Mother,” Debbie returns moodily as ever, perching herself at the bottom of the bed. In silence, she watches on as Charity sits up using her elbows and tries to adjust to consciousness; frantically blinking away the flecks of light clouding her vision. 

“Well don’t just sit there bleedin’ staring at me, babe! Care to tell me what’s so important that you felt the need to wake me up at this ungodly hour on a Saturday?” Charity bellows, stretching out her arm until it detects her phone on her bedside table; the digital clock on the screen informing her that it’s barely 7 am. 

”D’you know what, I was actually quite proud of you for finally biting the bullet and going out with Steve last night.” 

“I see, doesn't seem like you are anymore though so what’s changed?” Charity quizzes, rolling her eyes at how she's barely been awake five minutes and she’s already starting off the day in someone’s bad books.

”Well, considering you lead me to believe you were out all night with him until you got home, I must admit I was a little surprised when I opened a message from Steve about twenty minutes ago with him implying otherwise.”

”Look, Debs..” Charity sighs as she realises she’s well and truly been caught out.

”I don’t even know if I want to hear what shoddy excuse you're about to offer up,” Debbie interrupts, beginning to push herself off the bed and pace the lengths of the room. 

”In my defence, I didn't explicitly say that I was still out with him; you just assumed that I was,” Charity tries to argue, only to receive the all-too-familiar death glare her daughter is famous for. 

After a few beats of silence and Debbie refusing to let up on the glare, she puts her head in her hands and lets out a sigh. ”Fine, if you must know, I decided to let my hair down a bit after the meal, y’know go and have a drink in town at one of them trashy bars and listen to a bunch of those dreadful ’90s remixes, wasn’t aware it was a crime.” 

Although it’s partially true, Debbie doesn't seem too certain.

”So, let me get this straight,” Debbie proceeds. ”Instead of spending the whole evening with the man you were meant to be on a date with, and who said you were lovely by the way, you fobbed him off to go to some crummy, student-infested night club on your bill?” 

”Something like that, yeah,” Charity responds, somewhat wary of where the conversation is about to go.

Debbie stops pacing and suddenly she appears right next to Charity, taking her hands and placing them in her own. “Mum, this has got to stop,” Debbie pleads, painting confusion all over Charity’s face.

“What are you on about?” Charity muses, trying to prepare herself for the undoubtedly harsh words that are about to come out her daughter’s mouth. 

“You need to stop thinking she’s coming back for you, Mum,” Debbie cries out, causing the anger to begin to bubble deep inside Charity’s chest. 

“She left you almost a year ago, walked out without so much as even telling you herself and took Johnny with her and you’re still holding on to some delusion that she might just rock up on the doorstep one day and ask to come back - it has to stop before you make yourself ill again, Mum.” 

Charity is well and truly taken aback. Although it pains her to hear everything that her daughter has just spoke aloud, the concern for her wellbeing translates through the anger loud and clear and it stuns her more than it probably should. 

“What if I were to tell you that it might not just be a delusion?” Charity bursts out, a puzzled look overwhelming her daughter’s features instantaneously.

“What d’you mean? Has she been in contact?” 

Charity pauses, unable to gauge whether she should keep what happened last night under wraps until after they talk or whether honesty would do her some favours; she decides on the former.

“No, nothing like that, just ignore me, must still be half asleep,” Charity responds dismissively before trying to continue convincingly. “You’re right though Debs, I do need to move on, just maybe with someone with a bit more hair on the top of their head and less of an interest in infrastructure, yeah?” 

A hint of a tight-lipped smile appears on Debbie’s face at that, more so because her mother just told her she’s right about something rather than at Charity’s attempt at humour.

“Right, well I’m glad we’re on the same page for once,” Debbie replies, clearing her throat as she feels the awkwardness that tends to be between them creep back into the room. “Go back to sleep if you like, I’ll sort Moses out when he wakes up.” 

Charity plasters a smile on her face as her daughter moves to exit through the door which is slightly ajar. “Thanks, babe. Think I’ll take you up on that considering Chas has me working the late shift tonight,” Charity retorts, receiving a simple nod in return before the door shuts, allowing her to flop her head back down onto the pillow; mind in overdrive. 

Charity knows that there’s little chance she’ll wind up falling back asleep now with so much of her ex-fiancée occupying her thoughts, making her restless in all senses of the word. 

For months after Vanessa left, Charity often found herself dreaming about bumping into Vanessa and sometimes Johnny. She’d never told anyone about them, preferred to keep what happened in them to herself, but they’d distressed her beyond belief. It had got to the point where the dreams were so vivid she’d usually wake up in a cold sweat calling out their names, only to slowly come to the bleak realisation that it was just that - a dream. 

Even though she’s still a shadow of her former self, she knows that she has hardened significantly since Vanessa left. She’s had to, she can’t risk being vulnerable again, not when what she thought was the safest place on earth very nearly ended up being her demise. 

This is why she currently finds herself confused at the way she behaved last night. Why the hell had she said yes to meeting Vanessa? It’s not like it took much effort at all, she’d almost crumbled the second the request to meet came out of the blonde’s mouth. This in itself makes her feel panicky. She’d let herself give in so easily, going against everything she’d sworn she would never do if she was to ever see Vanessa again and she hates herself for it. 

The old version of herself wouldn’t have even dared to agree, in fact, she would have probably done something borderline illegal at the absolute nerve of the other woman asking her to do such a thing after what she’s put her through. However, the big difference is that the old version of herself hadn’t been completely and utterly ruined by Vanessa Woodfield; that’s something she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to come back from no matter how much time passes. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The day seems to fly by, the majority of it spent doing menial household tasks which she’d been putting off which actually turn out to be the perfect distraction to stop her thinking about tomorrow. 

“Late!” her cousin screeches the second she steps foot in the pub.

“Oh Chas, the pub will be swarming with the little brats at this rate if you’re not careful.” Charity taunts whilst trying to avoid an unwanted collision with a tipsy punter as she rounds the bar. 

Chas rolls her eyes after momentarily looking puzzled. “Hilarious,” she comments. “You best chuck your stuff in the back and start pouring pints because believe you me, I will not hesitate to put you on the rota for the opening shift tomorrow if you don’t start pulling your weight.” 

Charity freezes on the spot, stern eyes staring her down as they wait for a response. 

“Well, in that case, give me two minutes and then you can go put your feet up.” 

“Two minutes - not a second longer, you hear me?” Chas relents, gesturing her cousin into the back and moving to serve someone at the bar as the other woman scurries past her.

Once through to the back room, she throws her coat down onto the sofa, not particularly caring where it lands, also tossing her handbag in the nearby vicinity of her coat before making her way back to the front of the pub in record speed. Immediately, she takes over from Chas who wastes no time leaving Charity all by herself to deal with the queue of demanding customers waiting to be attended to.

The pub becomes less noisy an hour into her shift, most of the rowdy bunch having asked her to order them a few taxi’s to take them into Hotten not so long ago. 

The door swings open and in walks Cain, face like thunder as he heads in her direction. Even though it’s been so long since they were last together, her muscles still tense of their own accord when she’s around him when he’s like this; the times she’d seen him in this state and paid the price always come flooding back.

“Where’s that cousin of yours?” he barks, banging his fists on the bar top as he speaks, causing a few pints to spill that are resting on the surface as a result.

“If you mean your sister, she’s through the back. I wouldn’t go mouthing off at her tonight though, she’s in a proper mood.” Charity replies, mopping up a puddle of ale before someone leans in it. 

Cain looks like he’s weighing up what to do in his head before he speaks. “Just tell her that if she dares breathe a word to anyone, she’s dead.” 

Before Charity can even react, he storms through the pub and heads out into the village again, door slamming violently in his wake. 

Eyes scanning the room, she spots Bob having a drink with Wendy, a grin appearing on her face as she walks over to their table.

“Bob! - Just the man I was looking for,” she says, faking enthusiasm.

“Charity, I’m sorry but you’ll have to find someone else to cover the bar for you,” he replies immediately, already knowing what she’s after without her even having to ask.

“Pleeeease, Bob,” she whines. “It’ll just be for half an hour, I promise.” 

“I’m sorry Charity, but it would be rather rude of me to start working in the middle of a date,” he replies, looking visibly flustered.

She pauses for a moment before an idea pops into her head. “What if I say you can have your dinner, drinks, everything on the house if you just do me this tiny favour?” 

“Now that’s an offer you can’t refuse!” Wendy declares, obviously quite on-board with the bribe that’s just been dished out.

Bob huffs before draining the final dregs of his drink and rising to stand, asking Wendy if she’s sure before he makes his way towards the bar once he’s satisfied with her reply. 

“Did you ever know that you’re my hero?” Charity sings down his ear as she follows him around the bar, only to be met with an eye roll and staring customers. 

“Oh, and don’t tell Chas about our little deal, yeah?” she says with a wink before turning and heading through to the back room of the pub where she assumes her cousin is located, watching some awful late-night television.

Charity assumes correctly, spotting Chas as soon as she opens the door and decides to start grilling her from the get-go. 

“Right, what have you got over Cain? Whatever it is, it’s clearly serious enough for him to issue a death threat so I’d like to know what it-“ 

“How long have you been seeing her again?” Chas interjects calmly, staring straight ahead into the distance in the most unnerving way possible.

“What are you on about?” Charity asks quizzically, temporarily forgetting about everything other than her quest to find out the details of what’s going on between Chas and Cain.

Suddenly her phone is chucked her way, narrowly avoiding being dropped onto the hardwood floor. As she looks down in confusion, the screen comes on, a message from a few minutes ago flashing across the screen. 

“Hiya, just checking that we’re still on for tomorrow?” 

Charity simply stares at her cousin who has clearly read the message and has now turned to face her, facial expression unreadable. 

“Babe, I-“ 

“Don’t ‘babe’ me, Charity. You seriously have a lot of explaining to do,” her cousin replies austerely.

The panic begins to rise and she feels it travelling through every part of her body, the only response that she’s capable of is one full of hostility. 

“What are you doing going through my phone anyway? Everyone’s entitled to a bit of privacy y’know - that does include me.” 

“Excuse me? If you learnt how to hang your coat up properly instead of lashing it anywhere you fancy, maybe it wouldn’t have fallen out your pocket and down the side of the chair for me to find.” 

Charity sighs before moving to sit on the other side of the couch, the text message still lacking any form of reply. Charity doesn’t know what it is exactly, but there’s something about this backroom which seems to encourage more heart to hearts than most. 

“Last night, our Debbie set me up on a date with some bloke in Hotten. It was alright, nothing special, but afterwards I went to a bar and by some absolute marvel, I bumped into Vanessa.” 

Chas listens, mouth agape but doesn’t say a word, allowing Charity to continue telling her about the timeline of events that happened the previous night.

“I tried to get away from her but she went and followed me didn’t she, and in the end I ended up agreeing to meeting up with her tomorrow to talk things out with her, properly.” 

“And what does Debs think about all this? I’m sure she’s not too happy about it after she spent months picking up the pieces of the havoc that bloody woman left behind,” her cousin questions, before adding in “no offence” which always seems to be used right after an offensive remark has already been made.

“Debs doesn’t know, I nearly let it slip this morning mind you, but I managed to stop myself just in time. I know that If I’d told her, she’d just fill my head with all sorts and remind me of all the reasons why I shouldn’t ever see her again, but I know i have to, babe.” 

“Why’s that then?” 

Charity takes a deep breath, tears beginning to form in her eyes as she allows herself to finally talk about some of the things that keep her awake at night. 

“I need to know why she couldn’t just talk to me, for her to tell me to my face why she had to leave us, take Johnny away from us. I just want to know what I did wrong, Chas.” 

In one fell swoop, Charity finds herself pulled into a fierce embrace, tears rolling down her cheeks as she tries to swipe them away and calm herself down.

“I wish you’d realise that this wasn’t your fault, you were incredible to her - to both of them in fact.” 

“Just not incredible enough for her to stick around then, I guess,” Charity replies dejectedly, words getting stuck in her throat towards the end. 

Chas’ heart aches for her cousin, it has for a long time; she hugs her tighter. “Whatever happens tomorrow, I’m here if you need me, okay? I’m not saying I’ll be much help or anythin’ but I get it now, and I think it’ll do you some good.” 

“Thanks, babe,” she returns, an appreciative smile making its way onto her face. “Best be getting back out there, Bob will be bursting through that door in a minute if I don’t.” 

“Thought he was on a date with Wendy tonight?” 

“He was, asked him to do me a little favour, he couldn’t refuse given I’m his best mate.” 

Chas chuckles, “You? Bob’s best mate?” 

“I’ll have you know we’ve got quite the bond actually,” Charity replies indignantly.

“Oh yeah? I hope it’s not as close a bond I thought it was a couple of years ago, scared the living daylights out of me when you said you couldn’t resist the shorts.”

Charity feigns a gagging noise before leaving the room, checking the state of her eye make-up in the front camera of her phone before making her way towards Bob. 

“Everything alright now?” he asks, ringing someone up and handing them a handful of change.

“Yeah, Bob. I think it will be,” she replies, sending a quick thumbs up emoji in response to Vanessa before shoving her phone back in her pocket and returning to work.


	4. we head home again to separate places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so sorry for such a delay!  
> not gonna lie, this chapter has been sat in my notes half written for months as life got in the way but i’m back and hoping to write more frequently :)

She wakes up early, only this time it’s by choice. After her soppy conversation with Chas the previous evening, she’d slept better than she probably would have knowing there is someone supporting her decision even if there are plenty reasons not to. If she’s honest, letting someone in for a change did her the world of good. It had been a while since she last did that, she’d missed it. In a way, it had felt like coming home; even if it wasn’t to the person it used to be.

She spends far too much time picking out an outfit - she doesn’t wish to focus on the reason why, it’s not like she’s trying to impress Vanessa or anything. In the end, she settles on a pair of black skinny jeans and a zip-down blouse, deciding on high heeled boots to top it off. 

Curling her hair, she realises that she’s yet to come up with a believable excuse to give Debbie as to where she’s headed. She knows that she needs to clear whatever she says with Chas as her daughter has a tendency to be untrusting of her and ask around when she senses something is off, she can’t blame her really after everything she’s put her through.

There’s a knock at her bedroom door, they don’t barge in so she assumes it’s one of the other kids. 

“Come in.” 

It’s Noah, he shuffles sheepishly in the doorway as per. If their relationship had been rocky before, it was nothing in comparison to now. These days she’s lucky if she gets a grunt of acknowledgement from the lad. She wishes she could blame it on teenage angst, it would be easier to accept that if it was. But nothing she did could fix the gaping hole that Vanessa and Johnny’s absence left behind, she knows it’s affected him more than he lets on and that he directs his anger at her as a result. 

It’s not that she hadn’t expected it, but she didn’t realise how deep it would run. With the likes of Cain, Jai and Declan, his anger had fizzled out over time. Vanessa had been different though, she was the best step-parent he’d ever had; his words not hers. Vanessa was permanent, she promised she’d always be there for the kids no matter what, although she’d been more cautious about saying stuff like that during her cancer battle. She broke that promise.

In his mind, Charity had to be the reason as to why Vanessa had upped and left, just like the role she played in all her other failed relationships. Quite frankly, everyone had jumped to that conclusion at the start - especially Tracy. It seems as though Rhona had been the only one who knew that wasn’t the case, forming an unlikely bond between the two which she doesn’t like to admit out loud. 

“Can I have a tenner?” He asks bluntly. 

“That depends on where you’re going,” she replies, putting the curling wand down onto the heat proof mat and looking at him through the reflection of her mirror. 

“Cinema with Jacob. Is that allowed?” He mumbles sarcastically.

“Course it is,” she sighs. 

Reaching over to her handbag which she’d placed on the bed earlier, she spends a minute or two fumbling around the different sections which hold everything but the kitchen sink before she manages to find her purse, pulling out a £20 note when she does so. 

“Here, take this and use it to treat yourself to one of those Tango Blasty things that you always go on about.” 

As he takes it out her hand, he grunts out what she believes is a ‘thanks’ before hurrying out into the hallway, not hiding the fact that he can’t stand being in her vicinity very well. 

“I expect a bit of change!” She yells after him, although she knows it’s pointless in her saying it as there’s no chance she’ll get any.

After curling the rest of the straight strands of hair, she applies a light layer of make-up to cover her tired features before taking her phone off charge and checking the time; half an hour to go. 

“Morning you lot,” she greets as she makes her way downstairs, kissing Moses on the head before he ducks and furiously tries to wipe it off. 

“You look nice, where are you off?” Sarah asks from where she’s sat at the table, munching on a slice of peanut butter on toast. 

“Thanks babe, got a meeting with a client in town soon so thought i’d try and make myself look like i haven’t just rolled out of bed.” 

Debbie raises an eyebrow. “Meeting a client on a Sunday?” 

“It might be a day of rest for some people but not when you’re running the only pub in the village.” 

“Couldn’t Chas make it?” 

“I offered actually, thought she could do with a lie in with all that teething nightmare going on with Eve.”

Debbie laughs. “What has become of you, eh? Never known you to be so considerate.” 

“I have my moments,” she entertains, folding her arms across her chest. “Besides, it’s also so I have something to remind her of the next time she threatens to fire me for skiving.”

“There’s the selfishness we all know and love,” Debbie comments, filling up the kettle with water and flicking it on. “Got enough time for a brew?” 

“Afraid not babe, late enough as it is but I’ll text you when i’m on my way home and you can have one ready for me when I come in, yeah?” Charity replies, adding a wink at the end for effect.

“Cheek!” Debbie scoffs as Charity grabs her car keys out of the bowl and heads for the door.

“I’ve been called worse,” Charity yells back, earning a chuckle from her granddaughter.

The roads are busier than she’d been expecting for a Sunday morning. Every car parking space she comes across ends up being on double yellows or requires a permit - just her luck. She ends up forking out for car park access, always her last resort considering it costs an arm and a leg for a measly few hours. Less costly than getting her car towed though, she justifies. 

Stepping onto the escalator that goes up to Hotten high street, she pulls out her phone from her back pocket and opens her notes app, revisiting a list of questions she’d made over the year that swarmed round in her head whenever she couldn’t sleep. Chas had told her that she found it helpful to write her feelings down after Grace passed. Initially, Charity had been against it but in a moment of vulnerability, she decided to try it out. It only started off as a few lines, but soon enough she got carried away and she’d written what could have been a three page document. What surprised her most was that it actually was cathartic like Chas had said and it soon became the closest thing she’d ever really had to a form of counselling, covering different topics from Vanessa to Bails and even past traumas with ex-husbands; specifically Jai when he chained her up in the shipping container.

Distracted by the amount of questions she was having to scroll down, she almost trips as she unknowingly reaches the top of the escalator, the only thing that prevents her face-planting the concrete being the hands that manage to catch her in time.

“Careful! I don’t know about you but I’d much prefer eating food from the café rather than that god awful canteen at Hotten General. I think we had way too many meals there for a lifetime.” 

Her body seems to react to Vanessa’s presence before she does, shocks being sent round her body at the speed of light at the hands that grabbed her in order to keep her upright. 

“I’m tough as old boots me, babe, it would take more than an escalator to take me down,” she replies, shaking off the woman’s grip and shutting off her phone screen immediately.

“I was starting to think you’d stood me up,” Vanessa says as they walk the short distance to the café.

Charity stares at her before speaking. “Not my style these days, not one to leave people in the lurch.. unlike some,” she mumbles. 

Vanessa sighs, “Lets just order and then you can get all your digs in at me, alright?”

“After you,” Charity says, grabbing the metal handle and ushering the other woman inside.

Most of the tables are taken by the early morning crowd, mainly consisting of the elderly and a group of pram-pushers. Vanessa spots a space in the far corner, hiding at a bend and far enough away from any potential crying babies which she knows Charity has no patience for.

“What do you want?” Vanessa asks, her eyes scanning the menu at the different varieties of coffee and cakes. 

“Think I’ll have a cappuccino and a coffee cake. You’re paying though, just spent my life’s savings on parking for this.” 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, sit down and I’ll go up and order,” Vanessa says, taking off her coat and putting it on the back of the uncomfortable looking chair before making her way up to the counter, purse in hand.

As she watches Vanessa saunter off, she internally berates herself for being nicer to the other woman than she deserves. It’s not intentional - it’s just what Vanessa’s does to her. 

It’s always been so difficult to stay mad at Vanessa. The only time she’d ever felt blinding rage towards her was when she betrayed her trust the day after she’d confided in her about Bails, if it had been anyone else she doubts she’d have ever forgiven them, but with Vanessa all it took was a day. There was a time where that level of anger had almost resurfaced; it was when Vanessa had asked Rhona to be Johnny’s legal guardian whilst under the impression that Charity didn’t want or love him after she’d ‘hesitated’ when she was asked. She knew that the rational Vanessa wouldn’t have believed that though, it was the cancer talking and she couldn’t find it in her to be mad at her for long. Besides, if only she hadn’t been so flamin’ hard and reluctant to tell Vanessa how she’d really felt then perhaps a load of upset and a public scene in front of the town gossip could have been avoided. At least it had paved the way for Charity to start the adoption process, albeit it coming to an abrupt end when Vanessa left and took him with her. If only she’d had the legal rights as his parent when that had happened, there would have been so much more that she could have done.

A crowded tray is placed on the table in front of her, both hot drinks still full to the brim somehow - they would have been spilling over the sides if Charity had carried them over. 

“Didn’t know they sold hot milk here, they really should update their menu,” Charity says, referring to the milky tea that Vanessa’s now got in her hands as she sits herself down.

“God, you’re insufferable,” she jokes, rolling her eyes at the comment that’s been made previously on many occasions. 

There is a silence which hangs between the two of them for a few moments, both feeling trepidatious about what’s to come. Vanessa’s not quite sure where to start but she knows it’s down to her to explain things properly, she’s avoided it for far too long, she needs to get it off her chest. Charity nibbles at the cake on the round plate in front of her, she’s not particularly hungry but she hopes that eating something might quell the butterflies in her stomach enough for her to endure the conversation if her worst fears do get confirmed. 

“You left.” 

Vanessa looks up, meeting cold eyes staring back at her. 

“I did.” 

“Why did you?” Charity asks, nervously tapping her forefinger rhythmically on the side of her mug.

She takes a deep breath before she begins, the pounding of her heart more noticeable than it had been moments ago. 

“Everything just got too much, Charity..” 

“You mean we got too much,” Charity spits back at her, the defensiveness clinging at the end of every word. 

“That’s not what I meant, just let me get this out and then you’re free to have your say,” she returns sternly. 

“I was in a really dark place, darker than you knew. I hadn’t processed anything that had happened over that past year, starting from getting stabbed in the January. And before you say it, I know I shut you down hundreds of times when you told me I should see someone but I’ve always been the independent type, never wanted to rely on anyone or anything when I’ve been struggling, it’s just never been who I am. I know I never really spoke much about my mum, we weren’t really close, we lived completely separate lives under the same roof. We never talked about feelings, we didn’t talk at all really unless it was about my grades or something she could show off to her friends about. I kept myself to myself and she kept herself to herself and that’s just how it was and I didn’t know how much it made me think I could take on the world alone until it was too late.” 

She’s barely started yet she’s already cringing at how much it sounds like she’s throwing a pity party for herself, but she sucks it up and stares at the arrangement of condiments to the left of the table as she continues.

“I know I’ve always been the biggest spokesperson when it comes to other people going to seek professional help for the things going on in their lives, but I always thought I’d muddle through somehow, just like I always had growing up. Guess it took getting stabbed, having my dad die in front of me, a deranged homicidal rapist kidnapping me and Johnny for weeks, getting cancer and beating it for me to realise that I couldn’t cope with it all.” 

Charity exhales, suddenly glad that they’d managed to secure the table furthest away from any eavesdropping customers.

“It felt like a switch had just flipped inside on the day that we left. I woke up and the decision had been made for me, it just felt like what I had to do in the best interests of everyone. I was upsetting the kids on a daily basis to the point they were avoiding me or bitching about me - one of the two or maybe even both. I’d pushed everyone away, especially Rhona and Paddy and quite frankly, I knew you all deserved someone better than me. Everyone was waiting around for the old me to return, but she wasn’t there anymore.” 

Charity doesn’t know how she’s managed to stay silent through the entirety of this, she’s never been the obedient type so she doesn’t know why she’s kept to her word. She thinks it’s because she’s thought about this moment so often, imagining all she would say, being blamed for everything that happened because it had been so ingrained into her that Vanessa left because of her. 

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, I know that it’s no excuse for what I did but I am seeing someone now.” 

Charity’s heart shatters as soon as them words come out of her mouth. Vanessa’s moved on, of course she has; probably to some ditsy vet with less of a criminal past than she has. The barely touched coffee cake suddenly doesn’t look as appetising as it did in the cabinet and she gently pushes the plate more towards Vanessa for fear that she may empty the contents of her stomach then and there.

“A therapist, I mean.” Vanessa quickly clarifies, evidently seeing the upset her words had caused for the other woman.

‘And breathe,’ Charity thinks to herself, trying to regulate her physiological reactions in response to what she’d initially thought she meant.

“I was reluctant to at first, but without you all around, it was clear as day that Johnny was suffering more than I’d anticipated - I think he was really scared of me - i’d never seen him shy away from me like that before.’

Charity gulps at the thought of the precious little boy being upset, especially at Vanessa. Of course she hated it when her other kids cried, but Johnny was a more of a sensitive soul than most, he wasn’t quite like the rest of ‘em. When he cried, she often felt like crying alongside him; a few times she did.

“We stayed in a Premier Inn for a few nights whilst I sorted out somewhere for us to stay long-term. I found him a new school close enough to the flat when it became our permanent address. He refused to go for the first couple of weeks though, kept saying if Moses wasn’t going then neither was he.”

“Definitely got his stubbornness from you then,” Charity chuckles, speaking for the first time in a while. 

Charity remembers how Moses behaved similarly, crying every morning for his little brother which did nothing to nurse her daily hangovers, it just made them excruciatingly more unbearable and fuelled her reasons to get drunk all over again that night.

“I didn’t leave the house for months after we got settled into the flat. The childminder picked up Johnny to take him to and from school, the shopping was all done online and delivered, I wouldn’t even answer the door or phone unless i knew who it was for fear of it being Pierce or Kirin coming to take Johnny off me in one way or another.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” Charity responds, and she is, she honestly is.

“Charity, I’m not looking for pity, I just want you to know I didn’t leave because of you. You were the hardest to leave behind.” 

Tears prickle behind her eyes and she moves her head to the side just in time to swipe a loose tear that manages to escape. There’s no fooling Vanessa though who is equally if not more glassy eyed than her. 

“It still hurts, Vanessa. I know you say you had to leave because you were struggling but did you ever think about the mess you left behind in the process, babe.”

Vanessa inhales deeply and fidgets with her napkin, drawing random outlines with her finger tips out of sheer discomfort.  
“The only thing I could think of was how you would all be better off without me, Charity. I had half a mind to leave Johnny with you an’ all,” Charity’s eyes widen in shock, “but I knew that if I did that I’d end up coming back and cause havoc for everyone all over again.”

“Well, I wish you’d done us all a favour and left him with us then,” Charity mutters almost inaudibly, although Vanessa and her supersonic hearing ensures she doesn’t miss a beat.

“He misses you terribly.” 

Charity looks up quizzically before realising who she means. 

“I miss that little nugget too, how is he?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about actually, I was wondering whether you’d want to see him a couple times a week?” 

“Yes,” Charity responds without hesitation, “Is it a drop-off negotiation or will you stick around as well?” 

Vanessa knows Charity far too well to know that this is Charity’s way of stating she’s welcome to visit too, although Charity will just pass it off as wanting to know what the plan is.

“If I’m welcome and not on call then I suppose I could stay for a beer in The Woolpack, if Chas will let me past the front door that is.”

“I’ll see what I can do, no more pints on the house though, you’ve lost that privilege I’m afraid. Tell you what, we’ve been quids in since you stopped guzzling all our stock free of charge.” 

“Oi you! I wasn’t that bad,” Vanessa shrieks, nudging Charity from across the table. 

“You weren’t the one getting it in the neck from Chas, babe!” 

They stay in the Café for longer than they’d both anticipated, the awkwardness dissipating minus the odd lingering silence when they accidentally fall back into old habits. They talk about work, how the kids have been getting on, Vanessa’s flat, and suddenly it’s rapidly approaching 4pm and the staff are flipping the chairs up onto the tabletops.

“I think it might be time we call it a day then, text me whenever, yeah?” Charity says casually, trying to smother the butterflies in her stomach as much as humanly possible.

“I will do, now you make sure to come up with something convincing for Debs when she questions you on your whereabouts, she’s a fast-thinker that one, Dingle genes an’ all.” Vanessa says with a wink which makes Charity shiver slightly.

“I think I’ll give a quick visit to Chas, she’s bound to have been in at some point today to hound her.”

As they walk out of the Café, the awkwardness returns, both incapable of saying goodbye in a manner that is the most appropriate. 

They seem to settle on a wave, as they both saunter off to where they’ve individually parked their cars. As soon as Charity arrives back to her vehicle after paying the astronomical parking fee, her phone buzzes from where she’d chucked it on the seat next to her.

“Does Thursday work for you?” 

“Perfect.” She replies in an instant, before setting off back to the village in a far happier mood than she’d expected. 

She’ll just have to make sure to tell Debbie that her business deal was a success, in many ways it was.


End file.
